We'll Pick Up Where We Left Off
by anythinglikeiwrite
Summary: Your past always finds a way to come back and haunt you. What he didn't know was how soon his would show back up. When a case takes a strange turn, Jay Halstead isn't prepared for what unravels next.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I should be working on _Moments in Time_, but I got this idea and it stuck in my head. This will likely be two to three chapters, but I wanted to get the first part out! If there is any mistakes, I'm operating on very little sleep, so please forgive me!**

**With that, happy reading!**

* * *

Your past always finds a way to come back and haunt you. What he didn't know was how soon his would show back up.

It always seems like a normal day, but crime and Chicago may as well be synonyms with the cases they catch. The time on his phone read just after four am when Voight called, instructing him to call Hailey and meet him at a house in Englewood. His partner was not exactly thrilled with the call either.

"What?" she answered, her voice laced with sleep and annoyance.

"I'm on my way," Jay replied. "Shooting in Englewood, two dead. Voight just called."

"Copy that," she said before hanging up. This was one of the downsides to your partner being your sergeant's right hand, was you were up when he was. Jay was just lucky that she liked having him around and to keep her safe, otherwise she may switch him for Kevin.

She just finished lacing up her boots when her phone dinged, alerting her that Jay was here. He looked as sleep deprived as she did, except she envied him when she saw him take a sip of what was definitely coffee.

"I hate you," Hailey muttered as she got in the car. It was four am in the middle of November and her pain in the ass of a partner was sipping coffee.

"No you don't," he replied, passing her another cup that she must have missed. Jay didn't wait for anything else from her before he started driving, the silence taking over the truck. Not that they minded, if anything it felt like the calm before the storm, because Jay felt this one would be rough.

The intensity of the blue lights told them they were close, and Jay quickly spotted their sergeant among the sea of uniformed officers. He chuckled under his breath when Hailey exited the car with the coffee. Voight would let this one slide, as always, knowing Hailey was barely human when they woke her up at times like these.

"What's up?" she asked, pausing her affair with the coffee in her hands.

"Neighbors heard shots, called it in. One dead there," Voight paused, pointing to the white sheet that was spread on the sidewalk. "Another was pronounced in the ambo."

"Any idea why?" Jay asked, looking around at their surroundings. He wasn't searching for anything in particular, just something that could give them a much needed lead.

"The neighbor that called it in said the DOA on the sidewalk is likely Evan Harper," Voight explained. "Lives a block away, known for selling whatever pills he could get his hands on."

He wasn't sure why, but the name sounded familiar to Jay. Then again, his mind could be trying to find some connection in his sleep deprived state. They had dealt with so many victims, suspects and CIs over the years that named blended together after a while. It was easy to assume a connection when one wasn't there, as bad of a habit that was for a cop.

"Anyone talk to the family?" Hailey asked. Voight shook his head no, before pinning his two detectives with a stare.

"Here's the address," he said, handing them a piece of paper. The pair looked at each other, silently not ready for dealing with grief-stricken parents, but someone had to. With a nod at Voight, they headed back to the truck, informing their sergeant they would meet him back at the district.

Evan Harper's address was a block away, as the witness said. The house was modest to say the least, and hopefully no one would come at them for knocking on the door so early in the morning.

Jay took the lead, knowing Hailey was still waking up. He also knew part of the reason for her sleepiness was the fact she got home late, considering she had been at his place hours before he dragged her out of bed. He honestly felt a little guilty, thinking maybe he should have made her crash at his place and drop her by her house to get a change of clothes. Hopefully this visit would turn out well and they could meet everyone else with some kind of lead in the morning.

The lights inside the house flicked on after the fourth knock and soon they head the deadbolt unlock. A man their age answered the door, his eyes slits from being assaulted with the lights in the house.

"What do you want?" he asked. He was obviously not in the mood to talk to them.

"Detectives Halstead and Upton," Jay answered. "Does Evan Harper live here?"

The guy's brow furrowed at Jay's question, either confused or annoyed. Jay assumed the former, but you never knew with witnesses.

Before the guy could answer they heard soft footsteps coming from inside the house.

"Devin, who is it?" a woman asked. She came to stand beside who they now knew as Devin before looking at Jay and Hailey. Her eyes quickly went wide, but not for reasons everyone thought.

"Ryan?" she asked and it slowly began to click for Jay. He could sense Hailey's stare at him, but all he could focus on was the woman behind the screen door.

"Bianca," he said, starting to piece it together.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as Hailey and Devin just stood by awkwardly.

"My partner and I are looking for Evan Harper," Hailey interjected, needing to get this conversation back on track. She had recognized Jay's undercover name, but she knew that he used it a lot. There was no telling how this chick knew him as Ryan.

"Evan doesn't live here anymore," Bianca answered, looking between Hailey and Jay. "I'm sorry, but what do you want with Evan? He's not selling what he used to."

Hailey didn't think Bianca realized what was going on and she wasn't thinking Jay would be much help. With a quick glance to her partner, she could see him with a blank stare on his face, a mix between confusion, realization and what Hailey thought was panic.

"We're detectives with the Chicago Police Department," Hailey continued, her words a slap in the face to Bianca, who began backing away from the door.

"What the hell," Bianca whispered before turning to walk away. Hailey didn't waste a second before yanking the screen door open and pushing past Devin. She was kind of grateful for the change of events, because it got them out of the cold for a few minutes.

"Bianca, hey," Hailey said sharply, getting the woman's attention from where she stood in the hallway. "Start talking."

Bianca looked past the blonde at Devin and Jay, both of who were looking clueless, Devin more than Jay. She looked scared all of the sudden, as if talking could open a can of worms no one was ready for.

"You said Evan doesn't live here anymore," Hailey began, trying to prompt Bianca. "So where does he live?"

"I don't know," Bianca whispered, her demeanor becoming shy and nervous under the eyes of the two detectives.

"He moved out a month ago," Devin spoke up. Jay turned to Devin, focusing on the guy that did not refer to him as a persona.

"Why?" Jay asked, addressing Devin and avoiding the elephant in the room. Devin shrugged, but the stare Jay aimed his way had him backtracking.

"He said something about finding a new supplier," Devin began, before Bianca shushed him.

"Dev, shut up!"

"Hey," Hailey warned.

"You were saying?" Jay said, trying to steer this back around.

"His old dealer got thrown in jail and he's been trying to find a new supplier," Devin answered, warily looking at the other two women in the room.

"Old dealer?" Hailey asked before hearing Bianca laughing behind her. Hailey spun around, leveling the woman with the now wearing a smile on her face.

"What?" Hailey barked, no longer in the mood to deal with her anymore. She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as she watched Bianca rake her eyes over Jay's form. This girl knew something, and if she didn't tell her now, it wasn't going to end well.

"Ryan here knows Evan's old supplier real well," Bianca said, looking him up and down again. "You ever visit her, Ryan?"

"She doesn't have anything to do with this," Jay said, moving towards her. "And right now, you're interfering with an investigation and pissing me off, so let's go."

Hailey quickly followed her partner, moving to cuff Bianca and Devin. The protests coming from them was annoying, but neither detective cared at the moment. They were cuffed and in the truck in seconds.

"Jay," Hailey said, grabbing his arm and moving them from their suspects' view. "What's going on? You need to tell me now before this blows up."

Jay sighed, his breath noticeable in the cool Chicago air. He knew he needed to be honest with Hailey right now. They hadn't come this far for him to go backwards.

"It's Camila," he said, "The dealer they're talking about."

"What the hell," Hailey whispered, more in disbelief than anything.

"I never met Evan, I swear," he said. "But I've met Bianca a few times. I didn't put it together until she started goading me."

"How do you want to play this?" Hailey asked. She believed Jay when he said he never met Evan, but this could be bad if Bianca said anything. Jay was freaking out, she could tell that easily. But what they were gonna do about it was a different story.

"I'll talk to Voight when we get back. I'll get in front of this."

"And if we have to go talk to her?" Hailey said, speaking the one thing that was on her mind since they learned this information.

"I'll handle it," Jay said, his voice lethal as he rounded the truck to the driver's side.

* * *

"I met her shortly after I started dating Camila," Jay said, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the bullpen. He figured it was better to get everyone on the same page. After everything with Adam and Antonio, it became an unspoken rule in the unit that there were no secrets.

"She wasn't anyone of importance, just one of those girls that hung around looking to get high whenever she could. I never really spoke to her outside of parties, it could be said she and Camila were friends."

"But she knew you?" Kim asked, not wanting to voice the obvious.

"Enough that it did surprise me to see her there," Jay answered. "I knew who she was instantly and knew she would recognize me."

"Okay," Voight said, walking to stand by Jay. "As much as I don't want to do this, Jay, Hailey, go talk to Camila. The rest of you, pull everything on Evan, Devin and Bianca. For now, we keep Jay's name out of this until we can get a lead. We're finding his killer, not busting him."

Everyone nodded before splitting up to do their assigned tasks. Jay and Hailey began to head to Jay's truck before hearing their sergeant call their names.

"I just want to make sure you're both okay with this," he asked, looking both of them in the eye. "I can send someone else."

"No," Jay said immediately. "But it won't be easy."

"We're gonna need to give her something," Hailey said, her eyes flicking from Voight to Jay. Recognition registered on Voight's face while Jay looked between the two, confused.

"I know," Voight replied, leaving Jay clueless. "I'm gonna call the state's attorney, see what I can do. I'll let you know when I have an answer."

Hailey nodded, before pulling Jay out of Voight's office. She needed to tell him what happened, and Voight knew that. She was surprised he let her get as far as the roll up before grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him.

"Okay," she began, not waiting for his prompting. "I haven't been totally honest."

"Hailey," he began, his voice soft in that tone of his he only used with her.

"Before we officially charged Camila," Hailey began. "I spoke to her in lockup."

The look Jay gave her was one she never wanted to see again. It was disappointment and disbelief, but she knew she did the right thing back then.

"She asked your real name, I told her," Hailey continued. "I told her to keep her mouth shut about what happened that night, leave you out of it. She does that, I help her with the charges. She agreed."

Jay just looked at her as if he still didn't believe what she just said. Part of him was upset Hailey didn't feel the need to tell him, but he was also thankful he had her in his life, that she would do that for him. Voight never let him read the report, and by the time he got his head back on straight, he didn't want to.

"She's up for parole in a few months," Hailey continued. "So, if we can give her something, maybe she will talk."

"Thank you," Jay whispered, squeezing Hailey's hand. She smiled up at him, relieved he didn't think the worst of her. She expected a million other questions, but he gave her space. Case now, questions later.

"We're good?" she asked, needing the confirmation. Jay didn't respond right away, pulling her to him before wrapping his arms around her.

"And we will always be good," he finished, quoting his own words from a year ago.

* * *

Their nerves were through the roof as they sat in the visiting room, waiting for Camila. They explicitly asked that she not be told who wanted to see her, for fear that she would refuse them.

"Hey," Hailey said, needing to calm her partner down. "How about you come over tonight? Pizza and we can watch the Bears game?"

"That sounds good," Jay replied, and if on cue, they heard the door open, both standing to greet Camila.

As much as Jay wanted to avoid watching her reaction, he couldn't. He needed to see what she thought about seeing him here, two years later. The shock that spread across her face was likely understated, but Jay knew her. He could see the tiniest bit of fear in her eyes, fear that something happened and the deal she had with Hailey was about to blow up in her face.

"Jay," she said, and the entire room was surprised to hear his name come from her lips. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

Her demeanor quickly shifted as she went on the defensive. Hailey sat back down across from Camila while Jay paced behind her. No one wanted to be here, but this is where the case led them.

"We need to ask you some questions," Hailey began, taking the lead on this. She knew Jay really didn't want to be here, and the less interaction he had with Camila, the better.

Camila looked at the two detectives, stopping back on Hailey as she started shaking her head.

"I never said anything," she said softly, her walls falling quickly.

"That's not why we're here," Hailey told her. "We're here about Evan Harper."

Jay looked up then at Camila, her own eyes meeting his. It was weird to be looking at a woman he loved, or so he thought, after all this time, especially here. It was a situation he never expected to be in, but his mistakes would catch up at some point.

"Why are you asking about Evan?" she asked.

"Because he's dead," Jay said for the first time. "And we have a source that says you were his supplier."

"Who?" Camila asked.

"Bianca."

"Bitch," Camila mumbled under her breath. Jay raised an eyebrow in her direction, hoping she wasn't playing games with them.

"Cam," he said, kicking himself for using his nickname for her. He started to say more, but she shut him down.

"Don't call me that!" she exploded but stayed glued in her seat. "I don't owe you anything!"

"Hey," Hailey said, trying to calm everyone down. "We're not pulling your deal. But if you help us, we can help you get parole in a few months."

"And if I don't?" she said defiantly.

"Then we will leave," Hailey said calmly. "But it is in your best interest to cooperate. Besides the fact that I can promise you the chances of you being out of here in a few months are very good, if you know something that can help us and don't tell us, I have no choice but to charge you with obstruction."

The room went silent as they watched Camila processed their words. Jay still felt that she was a good person, she was just dealt a crap hand. He sincerely hoped that she would be willing to help, especially with their near guarantee that she could get parole.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. Neither Hailey nor Camila seemed fazed as he pulled it out, checking the text he just got from Voight.

"It's official," he said, pocketing his phone and walking towards the two women. "If you help us, you will be released within the next two months."

Two sets of eyes fell onto him, both looking slightly shocked at the new information. He couldn't help but notice the difference in how both of them looked at him. One with surprise and hope, the other with compassion and pride.

There was only one that mattered to him, though.

"That was our boss," Jay continued. "State's attorney just signed off on the deal. You help us with our investigation, next parole hearing is yours."

He looked at Hailey, telling her everything was okay. Jay knew she had doubts about everything, but he was fine, separating his emotions from his job for the sake of the case. He was over Camila, he knew that. His feelings had shifted since they were together, and he felt that this was the case that would change it all.

Hailey turned back to Camila as Jay sat beside her. They both looked at Jay's ex, a thought that was weird and uncomfortable for them both.

"Okay," she said after a beat. "What do you want to know?"


	2. Chapter 2

The look they exchanged at Camila's words was enough to be reassuring for them both. Everything would be okay. Hailey wasn't blind to know that Jay still cared about her in a way that she was sure she would never understand. But she knew it was a relief for him that Camila agreed.

"How did you meet Evan?" Jay asked. Hailey saw the change in his demeanor. He needed to be in charge, in control of this situation. She would gladly let him take charge for the sake of his sanity.

"He was a regular at the club," Camila answered before crossing her arms, becoming seemingly uncomfortable with this whole situation. "We hooked up once, before, umm…" she trailed off.

"Before we did?" Jay finished. Camila just nodded and continued.

"Eventually, when I started dealing, he approached me. He said he had some friends that would be good customers, and he was right."

"Bianca said something about him needing to find a new supplier," Hailey asked. Camila nodded her head in response.

"Right before, everything, happened," she said hesitantly. "He wanted other stuff, stuff I couldn't get my hands on."

"Like what?" Jay asked.

"Oxy, for one," Camila replied. "He was still stopping by but eventually he stopped."

She paused, causing the detectives to wait to see if she would finish her thought.

"There was one night," she explained. "He stopped by Veil, around the time you and I were," she stopped, motioning with her hands aimlessly but they all understood.

"Wanted his usual, but I told him it would take me a few days. Never talked to him again considering I'm now in here."

The bitterness of her words was not lost on them, but they just moved on.

"Do you know where he would go to find someone that would sell to him?" Hailey asked. Camila began nodding instantly.

"Guy's name is Jake, last name starts with an S something. Stevenson, maybe?"

"Maybe?" Jay asked, his patience wearing thin along with the fact he didn't really want to be here.

"I never met the guy, just heard about him," she answered, her voice timid at Jay's tone. Hailey could tell this was about to go downhill really quickly.

"Jay, outside," Hailey said, standing up and grabbing his arm to push him towards the door. He started to protest but quickly stopped when he caught the look on Hailey's face. As soon as they heard the door shut behind them, she let him have it.

"You need to calm down," she said, not caring about who could hear. The bewilderment on his face wanted to make her laugh, but not was not the time.

"I need to calm down?" he asked defensively. "She's barely giving us anything!"

"I know. But you're not exactly helping her right now."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he spat back, his voice rising with each word.

"Hey," Hailey said, taking his hand in hers. "You need to calm down."

Whether it was a mix of the softness of her voice or the way her fingers threaded through his, Jay could feel his heartrate slow down. He wasn't sure why he was getting so worked up, especially considering this was a woman he loved in some twisted sort of way.

"She's trying," she said softly, surprising herself at how she was taking Camila's side. "But you are getting worked up at her not answering quick enough is scaring her. It's bad enough that she's in here, but having to relive what got her here, which included you, probably isn't helping her at all."

Jay looked down at his partner, letting some of the tension that's made its way into his muscles be released. She's always been able to calm him down one way or another. He gently squeezed her hand back, sending her a silent thank you.

"Now you stay here, call Voight with that name. I'm going back in," she told him, giving him a look that told him she meant business. Deep down he knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit to it, or that questioning a person of interest that used to be his girlfriend was getting to him.

Hailey stood outside the room while he walked back down the hall and away from her and Camila. _This is for his own good_, she told herself as she walked back in.

"Sorry," she apologized to Camila, who straightened up from where she was slouched in the chair.

"Are you dating?" Camila blurted out, shocking both women in the room at the bluntness of the question.

"I'm sorry?" Hailey asked, confused at the question.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." She looked down at her lap, seemingly more embarrassed than before given the situation. On some level, Hailey sympathized with her. Here was this woman who lost probably the only two men she's ever loved to only end up in prison, all while being questioned by the woman that threatened her almost two years ago.

"He's running the name you gave us," Hailey said, deflecting Camila's question to spare her further embarrassment. They all needed to move past this, but Hailey paused before continuing.

"You know, I've kept tabs on you. Started to make sure you didn't go back on our deal," she said softly, trying not to scare her more. "And I heard about what happened."

Camila looked up, tears suddenly filling her eyes. Hailey didn't need to elaborate on what she was alluding to.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," she continued, needing to get this out before Jay came back. "We're gonna head out, but we could be back. But I'll personally see to it that you get that hearing and hopefully release. You've earned it."

Camila just stared at Hailey, not entirely sure she believed the words coming out of the blonde's mouth. They didn't get a chance to say anything else before there was a knock on the door.

"Hey," Jay stuck his head in. He managed to catch Camila wiping away a tear but didn't push, taking Hailey's words from before to heart. "Adam's got something."

Hailey nodded, giving Camila one last look. The fragile smile that was exchanged between both women didn't go unnoticed by Jay, but he trusted his partner to fill him in later. For now, they had a lead and a long drive ahead of them.

They left without another word, not speaking until they were back in Jay's truck and headed back to Chicago.

"Thanks," Jay said, breaking the silence in the cab of the truck. "I didn't realize I had any anger towards her."

"You're welcome," Hailey replied, reaching across the console for his hand. He grabbed it as quickly as she offered it, squeezing lightly in a way that meant two simple words for them. _We're good. _

* * *

"We may have a problem," Jay heard Adam say as they walked into the bullpen. He shot Hailey a concerned look, worried for whatever was about to happen.

"What's up?" Voight asked. He gave the partners a nod when he saw them walk back in. They both headed towards Hailey's desk, leaning against the top as they waited for Adam to fill them in. It was no longer a surprise to see both of them in sync, and it had become normal for them to be practically glued to the hip.

"The name Camila gave us, Jake Stevenson, checked out. Got two priors for distribution. But that's not the problem."

Jay shot Hailey a look again, suddenly even more worried based on the hesitation on Adam's face.

"Wouldn't know it from his last name, but his stepfather is Michael Henderson," Adam finished, taping another photo on the white board.

"Wait," Kim began, but Jay quickly cut her off.

"The dean at Northwestern's med school?" he said. Adam just nodded. The silence that filled the room was deafening, everyone taking the information in while waiting to see what the next step was.

"Okay," Voight said, stepping further into the room. All eyes fell onto their sergeant, looking for their next steps given this new information. "Start digging into the family, find something, anything, that we can use against them. I'm not going after the family of one of the most important families in Chicago based on the word of a dealer."

Jay felt all eyes on him, and Hailey made a mental note to check in on him later. He wouldn't admit it, but she knew this case was going to eat him up. Despite all that happened, he would feel responsible for whatever happened to Camila and Hailey couldn't blame him for that.

"Kevin, Kim, go back to the roommates and see what they know about Stevenson. Jay, Hailey, my office."

Everyone left to handle their respective tasks as Jay followed his partner into Voight's office. They didn't bother closing the door, another unspoken rule that followed the aftermath of Adam's arrest and Antonio's relapse: no more closed doors. Everything was laid out in the open so everyone, not just Voight, could lie for you if needed.

"How'd it go?" he asked, sitting behind his desk. His two detectives followed suit, Hailey sinking into a chair while Jay leaned against the wall.

"As could be expected," Jay admitted. He didn't know what he was going to walk into earlier, but he did expect more yelling and maybe the silent treatment from Camila.

"I do think she is willing to help. I don't think she will double cross us," Hailey admitted, surprising Jay and Voight. As the one person who was likely the most anti-Camila, neither expected that kind of response.

"Let's hope Stevenson checks out," Voight said. "In the meantime, I'm keeping you two in the background." He held up a hand at the protests he knew were coming from their mouths, allowing him to finish his statement.

"The last thing I need is everything that happened last year to come back up. CPD is already toeing a fine line, I don't need that line any smaller. But, I want the both of you to be the only ones Camila is talking to. She trusts you, and that's going to help."

Hailey snuck a look at Jay, who was trying to look anywhere but at her or their boss. As she turned back to Voight, she nearly jumped, as he clearly caught her looking at her partner.

"That being said," he continued. "I'm sending you both down there. We can handle everything here, and being out of the city may be the best thing for you two and this case."

There was no hesitation from either partner, and if they were being honest with themselves, getting out of the city sounded like a great idea, especially, as Voight said it was best to keep their involvement quiet.

"Book a room outside the prison, stay as long as you need. I don't want to see you two back here until we've wrapped this up."

Both were stunned at their boss's words, and it wasn't lost on them that he said "room" in the singular. For a man who's in house romance policy was known throughout Chicago, he wasn't hiding the fact that he was sending them nearly two hours away for an indefinite time and to book one room.

They left his office without another word, with Jay silently telling Hailey to follow him downstairs. He needed a minute with her, hell they both needed a minute with each other as they tried to process how this case just got even more complicated.

"So," Jay began, not wanting to dance around this any longer.

"What do you think he knows?" Hailey asked, leaning against the wall as she faced Jay. His hands were shoved into his pockets, a telltale sign that he was nervous. Jay shook his head at her question, just as confused as she was.

"There's no telling," Jay replied. "But he's the boss."

Hailey nodded before moving towards him, grasping his wrists and pulling them from his pockets. He didn't waste time slipping his fingers through hers, reveling in the silence that fell between them for a few seconds more.

"I did want to tell you something Camila asked me," she admitted, watching him tilt his head in confusion.

"She asked if we were dating," Hailey answered, watching Jay's face for a reaction.

"What did you say?" he asked, but she just shook her head in response.

"She apologized quickly after and I couldn't bring myself to make her feel more embarrassed than she was in that situation. I mean, if I was her, sitting in prison for a bad mistake and having to be questioned by my ex's partner? I would want to die."

Jay had to laugh at that, glad Hailey was bringing some kind of humor to the situation. But the conversation had brought him back to earlier that day, remembering the scene he walked in on from earlier.

"When I walked back in," he began, locking eyes with Hailey. "She was crying, and you looked close to it. Everything okay?"

His words shocked Hailey, but she tried not to let it be known. He could read her like a book, and she could too. He would know if she was lying, so she hoped her poker face was enough.

"I told her I was sorry," Hailey answered honestly, because that was the truth. "I couldn't imagine going through what she has in such short of a time span. She goes from losing her brother to selling, all while learning the guy she loves is lying to her?"

Jay looked down, suddenly filled with filled with guilt. Hailey noticed, letting go of one of his hands to grasp his face, forcing him to look back at her.

"This is not on you. I know I was tough on you when this went down, but these were her mistakes to make, her mess to clean up. You tried your hardest, and because of that, so did I. What happens now is up to her."

Jay nodded, believing her words for the first time. He squeezed the hand he still held, before pulling her towards the door that led to the parking lot.

"Better get a move on packing, I know it takes you a while," he said, a smile spreading across his face.

"Shut up," Hailey mumbled, grinning at her partner while shoving him lightly towards the door.

* * *

"Ugh," Hailey groaned as she flopped back onto the bed. The drive took longer than expected and all she wanted to do was sleep for 10 hours.

"Was it really that bad?" Jay asked, bringing their bags in and setting them down on the bed Hailey wasn't currently spread across. He watched as Hailey nodded her head, eyes still shut.

"It is when I have to listen to your poor music choices," she shot back.

"Hey, you enjoyed Eric Church, don't lie to yourself." She had to admit, she did, and it was all because Jay loved it.

There wasn't much that the man could do and she wouldn't like it. Well, maybe that was a stretch, because she still questioned his decision to put onions on everything or how he had to have almond milk in his coffee every time. But those quirks made him Jay, so she appreciated them as much as she appreciated him for himself.

"Do you just want to order food? Pizza?" Jay asked. The man knew her well.

"Pizza sounds great. It won't be as good as our usual, but pizza is pizza."

She heard him laugh at her and not even a minute later she heard him placing their order. He didn't even have to ask her what she wanted, he knew. He knew her order for every single resturaunt in Chicago and every type of food there was. And she knew his favorites too.

She sat up when she heard him end the call, turning towards the other bed where he sat down. Neither was sure how much time had passed, they just took the time to look at the other. They never needed words, which in their line of work was a good thing.

"You ready for this?" she asked after what could have been five minutes. She needed to know where his head was at. It was the only way this would all work.

"I think so," he answered honestly. "There's no going back. We can't bury the case."

"If it helps, I don't think she'll lie to us. She's gonna get the better deal at the end of the day, so why wouldn't she take it?"

Hailey had a point, Camila agreeing to talk to them only helped herself. She would be out of jail in at least a month, free to live her life.

"I did love her," Jay admitted. It was the one thing from that case they never talked about. at first, it was too fresh of a wound to admit, and Hailey's threat at getting a new partner made him worried to discuss it. But now, as they laid it all out, she had to know.

"As crazy and fucked up as that may sound, part of me loved her. I shouldn't have let myself fall for her but I did."

"No one is asking you to apologize for how you feel," she said, but Jay just shook his head.

"I know that, but it's important to me that you know that." Hailey nodded, letting him understand that she heard him. She didn't judge him for what he did when his PTSD was at its worst. He had come so far since then, and at this point, Hailey was pretty sure she would and could forgive him for anything.

The knock that came from the door stopped the conversation, an out Jay wanted, and Hailey could sense he needed. They took the rest of the night to eat and watch some highlights from the games earlier in the day. No words were spoken, but none were needed. They took their time getting ready for bed, both of them turning towards the other as they settled in for the night.

"Promise me something?" Hailey whispered. She wasn't sure if Jay was still awake, but the soft "anything" that came from him told her he was.

"If this gets to be too much, you tell me. Let me help you this time around."

"I promise," Jay replied without hesitation. That was all Hailey needed to hear before allowing herself to fall asleep while silently dreading what lied ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't the sound of her alarm that woke her up, or what she hoped was coffee since Jay was always up at an ungodly hour. No, instead it was her phone ringing, and she still woke up to no sign of Jay in bed.

She sighed when she saw the caller ID showed Adam's name and that it was close to seven am.

"This better be good Ruzek," she answered, not holding back. The lack of some snarky comment made her sit further up in bed as she listened to Adam.

"Well, it's not," he replied. Hailey listened intently, not saying anything as he updated her on the case. At some point during the call, Jay walked back in, clearly having been on a run for both coffee and his mental wellbeing. He ran when he was stressed, something Hailey admired about him because she hated running even though it was in their job description. The look he shot her had her shaking her head in response, letting him know that the information she was getting wasn't good. He passed her the coffee cup before sitting on the edge of the bed, his thigh barely brushing her feet. Without thinking, she stretched her legs out more, and felt herself calmer as his now free hand rested on her leg.

"He just walked back in, so I'll tell him. We'll head to the prison once it opens," she told Adam before hanging up the call.

"Shit," she mumbled, throwing her head back against the headboard.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked, concern spreading over his features. She felt his thumb rub circles on the inside of her ankle, a motion that Jay learned was soothing to her.

"They finally tracked down Stevenson. Self-inflicted gunshot wound. Pronounced two hours ago," she replied before taking a sip of her coffee. They were going to need a lot more of this now to get through this day. "Kim and Adam are talking to the parent's, but as of now, we have no new leads."

Jay just shook his head before leaning forward, his forearms resting on his knees. Hailey could see the tension in his shoulders. It was too early in the case to be getting to them, but given the circumstances, she understood. Setting her coffee down, she decided it was her turn to comfort him, crawling over and rising up on her knees to reach his broad shoulders. Her hands quickly found the knots in his back, evident by the deep sigh he let out as she began kneading them out.

"We're gonna figure this out," she told him, hoping he would believe her words. "We've just got to find a new angle."

"And what's that going to be?" he bitterly asked. She didn't take his tone personal, knowing it was the stress. "The one lead we had is now dead and the other one is sitting behind bars five minutes away barely giving us anything."

"Hey," Hailey snapped at him, knowing he needed tough love right now. "We're going to solve this one way or another. But you going in there worked up will not help us." She stopped what she was doing, using her hands to force him to turn around and face her.

"I'm going to go talk to her while you work on remembering anything else you may know about Camila's friends. Hey," she interrupted when she saw him begin to protest. "This is for your own good. You are one of the best cops I've ever known, but you are no good to anyone when things get personal."

Jay couldn't argue with her there, even if it was a dig at his track record with personal cases. Hailey was right, as she usually was when it came to him. All he could do was nod and accept her help, even if it wasn't what he thought he needed.

"Now, do you want to shower first?" she asked, moving on from their discussion. "You kinda smell."

"Don't act like you don't love it," Jay shot back, once again grateful for his partner's ability to find humor when it was needed. "I'll have you know I ran five miles this morning before you even woke up."

"No one likes a bragger, Halstead."

"Don't get yourself worked up, Upton," he fired back, leaning forward so their noses were centimeters apart. "And try not to think of me in the shower."

"In your dreams," she retorted, hiding the fact that she would most definitely be thinking of him feet away, water falling down every perfectly sculpted muscle on his body. She was too far gone when it came to him, and he knew it too. The smirk he shot her was enough to roll her eyes as she picked her coffee back up, taking a sip without breaking eye contact with Jay.

Even as he disappeared into the bathroom, she knew this was going to be the hardest case ever. Not because of the circumstances, but the fact that being alone with Jay two hours from their unit was going to make one of them break, and damn it if it was her.

* * *

"Detective?"

Hailey was so out of it while waiting for Camila that she didn't even register the door opening or the sound of a chair sliding against the cement floor. Upon hearing another voice, her head shot up, eyes meeting with Camila's across the table.

"It's Hailey," she said, more for Camila's sake than hers. She needed her to feel comfortable talking to her, and Hailey would do what she could to make this the least awkward situation for everyone. She could feel the elephant in the room and addressed it head on.

"Jay's working a new lead," she explained. "There's been a development."

"What?" Camila asked, her back becoming straighter and her eyes filling with worry.

"Jake Stevenson, the guy you said may be Evan's new dealer? He was found dead this morning, suicide."

Her words shocked Camila for sure, as Hailey watched her slump back into the cold and uncomfortable metal chair. It certainly wasn't what she expected to hear, but those were the facts of the case.

"Did you know who his father was?" Hailey asked, tilting her head in curiosity. Camila shook her head as she met Hailey's eyes again.

"I met Jake maybe once or twice, both times at Veil and both with Evan. We talked, more as patron and bartender, but I never talked to him enough to get much out of him."

"His father is the dean at Northwestern's medical school," Hailey explained. Of all the reactions she imagined, the realization that crossed Camila's face was not what she expected. She could see everything click inside Camila's mind, almost like Hailey's statement was the piece of the puzzle they all needed.

"It makes sense," she mumbled, more to herself than to Hailey.

"What does?"

Camila looked up, suddenly becoming more animated that Hailey had ever seen her. Granted all her previous interactions with her had been rather tense, but it was enough to pique Hailey's interest.

"There was one night, I blew it off because Evan and Jake were drunk, and I assumed it was nothing. Jake kept going on about prescriptions. It never made sense, considering I didn't think either of them needed prescriptions since Jake was known to sell oxy."

"Wait, you think Jake had access to prescription pads?" Hailey inquired, connecting the dots herself.

"Could be," Camila said. "Again, I didn't talk to him a lot, but the comment seemed weird to me. If it can help…" she trailed off as Hailey nodded.

"Anything can help right now," she told the brunette before reaching for her phone. She shot off a quick text to Jay and Ruzek, filling them in on what Camila said.

"Hopefully that'll lead us somewhere," Hailey said. Her phone quickly buzzed, and she glanced down to a text from Jay.

"Everything okay?" she heard Camila ask. She clearly caught the confused expression on Hailey's face in reaction to Jay's message. Looking up, she swore she saw concern from Camila.

"Yeah, just a message from Jay," she answered, watching for a reaction from Camila. Hurt flashed through her eyes and Hailey wondered if she was feeling upset at the fact Jay wasn't here.

"He wanted me to ask you if Alex may know someone?" Hailey asked. Camila thought for a second before starting to shake her head no, only to stop at what seemed like the last second.

"He might be better off asking Alex himself," she replied. "He had his fingers everywhere, more so than I ever knew."

Hailey nodded, replying to Jay but was quickly interrupted by Camila's question.

"Is Jay okay?" she asked, her voice matching the timidness from the day before when Jay exploded at her. Jay would always be a sore subject with her, but Hailey was silently glad that the anger she had towards her partner was gone. It was still up for debate if the nervousness was any better.

"Yeah, he's in town too, just working something different at the moment," Hailey explained.

"You're both staying here?"

"Our boss thought it best to get out of the city, given the, connections to the case," Hailey said, stumbling over connections in her statement. "He wanted us to be the only ones you talked to, and no offense to Jay, but the less time I have to spend in a car with him, the better."

Humor usually worked on Jay, but the joke fell flat with Camila. The awkward tension that filled the room was suffocating and Hailey hoped she would get an out sooner rather than later.

"I was thinking about what you said yesterday," Camila said, who suddenly found her hands to be the most interesting thing ever. "And I wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Hailey asked.

"I never talked about it," Camila answered, emphasizing the word "it" in hopes that Hailey would understand what she was referencing. "And it's not like I could, given the deal we had."

All Hailey could do was nod. It was a shitty position for Camila to be in, and for the first time since she threatened her if she told anyone about what really happened between her and Jay, Hailey regretted it a bit.

"And for some twisted reason, knowing that you knew, it hurts a bit less now. It's almost like he knew."

At her statement came a mutual understanding between the two women. They were polar opposites in every way, yet somehow, Hailey's apology and Camila's admission bonded them in a way neither one expected. But they had one other thing in common and he was currently the elephant in the room. Even if neither woman admitted it, they both loved Jay Halstead in their own way, and even while Camila had recently come to peace with it, they both wanted the best for him.

"Can you do me a favor?" Camila asked suddenly.

"Name it," Hailey replied. Whatever shifted between them, Hailey felt a sense of purpose that she would do what she could in her power to get Camila out of here and back on her feet.

"Before you go back, I want to talk to him."

A year ago, Hailey would have shut her down instantly. She wouldn't admit to this, but the need to protect Jay had always been fierce, since the day they got partnered. Sure, she was hard on him at times, but it was what he needed. Both of them would admit to that. Now, Hailey would gladly oblige Camila's request.

"Done."

* * *

Hailey wasn't sure how long she sat in the truck in the hotel parking lot, but it must have been long enough that Jay sent a search party out for her. And by search party, it was just Jay.

She actually jumped in the seat when he knocked on the window, and she scolded herself for getting jumpy. _You're a cop, Hailey, _she told herself. Quickly, she turned the car off and opened the door. Part of her was dreading the conversation she had to have with Jay, considering she knew this would change their relationship.

"You okay?" Jay asked, closing the door for her. Hailey just nodded, but before she could take another step, she felt his hand grab hers.

"Hey," Jay said, his voice softer. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine," she lied. "Didn't sleep well and the case is getting to me." Even while that was partially true, she was more worried about what would come in the days ahead.

"Bullshit," he bit out. Hailey didn't know why, but the harshness of his tone made her jump slightly. Had Jay not been holding her hand, she probably would have been able to hide it.

"Hails," he said, that soft tone returning. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"It's okay," she mumbled. "I'm just, ugh." Words were hard to describe how she was feeling as a million things were running through her mind right now. She pulled away from Jay, running her hands through her hair as she tried to grasp any part of reality. It didn't take long for her to begin pacing, all while still in the parking lot of the hotel, despite the slight chill in the air.

As she reached the truck again, she learned forward against the truck bed, her arms bracing herself. Every muscle in her back was tight, she could feel it, and Hailey couldn't remember a time when a case had her this wound up.

This time, she didn't jump when she felt Jay's hands on her shoulders, returning the favor from this morning. She felt herself relax slightly at his touch, as she always managed to do. Over the years, they had become each other's rock, easily being able to bring them out of whatever dark hole they were heading towards.

Hailey turned around, immediately wrapping her arms around Jay. Instantly, she was surrounded by everything that made him, him. The woodsy smell of his cologne and aftershave that was borderline intoxicating, the warmth of his chest that despite being as built as he was, felt comforting. His arms enveloped her, pulling her closer to his chest.

"Hey," Jay whispered, slightly shocked by the rollercoaster of emotions coming from Hailey. "Babe, what's wrong?"

All Hailey could do was sigh before pulling away. Her hand found his as she pulled him to follow her to their room. They had to talk, sooner rather than later, and it was time to lay it all out on the table.

It didn't take five minutes until they got back and sitting in the small living area of their room. Jay took a seat on the coffee table, one hand playing with one of her own.

"Before I say anything else," Hailey began after sitting in silence for who knows how long. "You need to go talk to Camila."

"Camila?" Jay asked, clearly puzzled by the fact this was her opening statement. "What's she got to do with this?"

If it was the right time, she would have laughed, because in her mind, Camila had everything to do with it. She just couldn't exactly tell Jay that.

"She asked me if she could talk to you," Hailey said, trying to gather her thoughts. "I also wasn't entirely truthful earlier, when you asked about why she was crying the other day."

Jay looked at her confused, but she continued on.

"It's not my story to tell. But you need to talk to her."

"I—" Jay began before shaking his head. "I shouldn't be, but I'm scared."

The raw honesty from Jay would have surprised her a year ago. Now, it was almost normal, and Hailey had to give it to him for being so forthcoming. She would help him however she could, regardless of the legality of whatever it was, something he always knew to be true.

"Of what?" she questioned him.

"Slipping, going backwards. I don't want to do that again."

"You won't," Hailey assured him, her hand falling to his thigh and squeezing gently. "You've got me this time. And you're smarter, you're better than this. I'm not letting you go down that hole again."

Jay didn't speak anymore, but stood up, pulling Hailey along with him. She didn't protest or try and talk, she just recognized that he needed this, whatever it was.

Hailey watched as he kicked off his boots and pulled his gun and badge from their place on his hip. She followed suit, catching on quickly and watching lay down on the bed. His hand reached out for her and she let him pull her onto the bed and into his arms.

They were soon settled among the pillows with Hailey's head resting comfortably on his chest. Her arms stretched across his torso, grasping his hand while his other found its way to her hair, playing with the loose curls that fell down her back.

"I'll go," Jay said. "On two conditions."

"Name them," Hailey replied.

"We'll go tomorrow, right now, I just wanna stay here for the rest of the day."

Hailey did laugh at that, and she wouldn't argue on that one, because it sounded like a good plan.

"And the second?"

"You go with me."

"Jay," she began, trying to sit up to level with him, but he just held her tighter.

"No, I need you. Even if it's behind the glass, I need you there. Please, Hails."

She couldn't argue with him, especially when she had an idea that was going to be one of his conditions. He would be a wreck when he found out, and she wasn't sure how he would react when he learned what she's known for the better part of a year.

"Then promise me something?" Hailey asked.

"Name it," he quoted her from earlier.

"Don't be mad at me," she whispered, not caring that her voice probably sounded scared.

She felt Jay's lips on her forehead, and she had to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Never, babe. Never."

* * *

The next morning came too soon for either of their liking. They slept through the previous afternoon, only waking up to eat and change into more comfortable clothes. It was Hailey's decision to forgo sleeping in two beds that night, both knowing they needed to be close to the other, even if it was a bit tight.

Words were barely exchanged as they got ready. The weight of the day was already hitting them, both for different reasons. Jay was dreading digging up old feelings while Hailey was hoping Jay's words from last night would still be true, that he wouldn't hate her later.

Before they left the hotel, Jay pulled her close, wrapping her tight in his arms. Hailey tried to give him some strength, feeling that he needed it more than she did. They spent much of the drive to the prison touching the other in some way. Jay's hand found her upper leg before the car was in drive, and it only left its spot to get their coffee from the drive through window.

The drive to the prison seemed long yet short, neither breaking the silence that engulfed the car. It was all a blur as they signed in and walked back to the interview room, they had become more than familiar with. Hailey stopped them outside the door where they would soon part ways. She squeezed his hand once more before walking to the observation room not even ten feet away.

Jay could barely stop moving for fear that if he stopped, his thoughts would consume him. Hailey didn't give anything away and he wished he pried more. But as she said, it wasn't her story to tell, and he didn't have to wait much longer before the door opened, and Camila walked through.

"Jay," she said, her voice calmer than it had been during their last conversations.

"Camila," he replied, motioning for her to take a seat. She did and he copied her, the setup different from what they were used to at district. There, anyone observing could see a suspect's reactions. Here, it was fair game as the table was set up so you could see their profiles, no reactions or emotions hidden.

They sat in silence, as no one knew where or how to start. Hailey just watched, holding her breath.

"I'm not sure what she told you," Camila began, referencing Hailey. "And I never planned on telling you. But you, showing up, and what you're doing for me, I would regret it if I didn't."

Her words were cryptic, making every nerve in his body go into overdrive.

"But I have to ask you something first."

"Okay," Jay said, not sure what was about to come out of her mouth.

"Are you and Detective Upton – Hailey – together?"

He couldn't try and act surprised, because he had a feeling she would ask this. Hailey told him Camila asked her, but she never answered. But he also knew Camila, and she knew him, and he couldn't lie to her.

"We're partners," he answered, which was the truth. He was suddenly worried that telling her everything would make her shut down, but he owed it to her to be honest. "In more ways than one."

Hailey's heart fluttered from where she stood. They themselves had been dancing around the question, neither ready to admit it. It was a weird situation they were in, but it was comfortable for them, especially given their past dating history.

"I figured," Camila said, looking down at her hands. "From the second I met her, I could see how protective she was of you. I never stood a chance."

She paused, looking up at Jay and sitting up straighter. Now or never, Jay supposed.

"I'm not sure what she told you about that first conversation, a few days ago. But she admitted that she kept tabs on me while I've been here. And, well, something happened, about a month after I got here."

Camila went silent, trying to gather the courage to say whatever she was going to say. What she said next made his entire world fall out from under him, and Hailey's heart break in a million pieces.

"I was pregnant, and it was yours, Jay."


	4. Chapter 4

"Anything new?" Hank Voight asked he walked into the bullpen. He had been hoping for some answers at this stage in their case, but all they were stuck with were two dead dealers and a questionable witness. When he last talked to Hailey, she said that Jay was struggling, but didn't seem close to slipping up. It was all he could hope for right now, considering the circumstances.

"Hailey texted us yesterday," Adam began. "According to Camila, Jake mentioned something about prescriptions once. She thinks that's how he was getting access to the oxy."

"We talked to Stevenson," Kim chimed in. "He said that Jake had access to his office, and his prescription pads, but he never noticed any missing ones."

Voight stopped to think, trying to make sense of the information. "That's all we have on that right now?"

Neither of the officers standing in the room said anything, because they didn't have anything else at the moment.

"Kev said he's got a CI that may know something. Just waiting to hear back," Kim explained.

"Jay's trying to work an angle with Alex, the guy involved with Camila back then. Seeing if maybe he knows something," Adam said.

Voight just nodded before walking towards his office. He stopped briefly, before turning to look at Ruzek and Burgess.

"Double back on those two Jay and Hailey talked to that first night. Did anyone ask them about Stevenson, or this Alex?"

Adam and Kim both nodded, watching as Voight shut his door and picked up his phone. The man had his hands in a lot, so there was no telling what was about to happen.

The two left in the bullpen stared at each other, silently asking the other what to do. Kim leaned back against her desk, looking at Adam for anything.

"How do you think they're holding up?" Kim asked after a beat. Adam just shrugged before crossing his arms.

"There's no telling," he answered. "Jay went through hell back then, so this has got to be a lot. And Hailey…"

Kim didn't need him to elaborate on why he trailed off. She wasn't oblivious to the fact her ex-fiancé still had feelings for the blonde, even when she knew Hailey no longer felt the same way.

She confided in Kim a while back, after Kelton was murdered. Hailey admitted that her feelings for Adam had been nothing compared to what she felt for Jay. Despite the relief Kim felt, she could sympathize with Hailey. Their relationships with Adam tied them together now, and both women understood how when Adam fell for someone, he fell fast and hard.

But even Kim could see the difference in Hailey when she was around Jay, especially over the past few months. Wherever one was, the other wasn't far behind and their ability to know where the other was and what they were thinking was stronger than before. They were extremely protective of the other in a way that teetered on that very thin line they all knew well, the one that separates a working relationship and an intimate one.

"Yeah," Kim said after realizing she was quiet. "But if anyone can help Jay keep his head on straight, you know its Hailey. And after that trafficking case a month ago, there's nothing they won't do for each other."

Adam nodded as both their minds flashed back to the case Kim referenced. Hailey had gone undercover to nail a suspected human trafficker. What they didn't expect was the guy trying to recruit Hailey and Jay going crazy on the guy when they caught him. Both of them had seen Jay get a little hot headed before, but not like this. He could have beat the guy into a coma if Kevin hadn't pulled him off the guy.

"You ready to roll?" Adam asked, wanting to end this conversation. Kim nodded in reply before grabbing her jacket. They needed to figure this out, not only for their victim, but both officers could tell this one was important for one of their own.

* * *

The car ride back from the prison was silent, as Hailey expected. Jay hadn't said a word since Camila's confession and Hailey could feel the tension rolling off of him.

She still couldn't get the scene out of her head. One second Jay was sitting across from Camila and the next he was nearly sprinting out of the room, leaving Hailey to comfort a crying Camila. Despite knowing that she should follow her partner, she promised Camila she would bring Jay here, and over the past few days, she began to sympathize with the woman. She had been through hell in the last year, and this had to be the icing on the cake.

"I'm going for a run," Jay said the second they pulled into the hotel parking lot. Hailey barely had time to put the truck in park before he was out of the truck and headed to the hotel. She begrudgingly let him walk away, knowing a run would clear his head. It always did.

Her phone ringing brought her back to reality, causing her to avoid slipping into what would have been a toxic train of thought.

"Hey," she answered after seeing Kim's name on the screen. "Anything new?"

"We looked into Alex, like Jay said. Turns out, he was also buying from Stevenson. Kevin also had a CI tip pay off. Apparently, Evan and Jake were in business together."

Hailey felt relief rush through her. Finally, they had some break in their case, one they desperately needed.

"We're thinking Evan wanted more money, Jake killed him to get rid of him. We still haven't found a suicide note or figured out how they got that many pills without it flagging the system, but we're looking."

"Thank god," she whispered, not caring what Kim thought. Today had been rough and the last thing she needed was another brick wall slowing them down.

"Everything okay?" Kim asked. The sigh from Hailey was one of hesitance. On one hand, her and Jay's business was her and Jay's business, especially where Camila was involved. But another part of her needed to vent, and her partner was clearly not an option.

"Just a rough day," she replied, trying to be vague. "Jay's starting to take this more personally. I can only do so much."

Despite what she thought, Kim could hear the exhaustion in Hailey's voice. She couldn't imagine dealing with these circumstances, but she also knew there was no one stronger than Hailey to handle this.

"We're trying our hardest," Kim tried to reassure her. "You're not the only one that doesn't want to see Jay slip again."

"That means a lot," Hailey replied, thankful for Kim's words. She didn't have many female friends, it was kind of hard to do in her line of work. But she valued Kim's opinion and right now, she was glad someone was in her corner.

"Hopefully you won't have to be there much longer. Is there even anything there besides a prison?"

Hailey laughed at Kim's attempt at a joke. She found herself shaking her head before remembering that Kim couldn't see her.

"Well there's a Starbucks and a few chain restaurants. I would do anything for a true deep dish right now."

"Once you guys are back, I will buy you that deep dish," Kim told her.

"I will certainly hold you to that, as will Jay."

"You guys be careful," Kim told her. "And make sure he comes back in one piece."

"Copy that," Hailey said. They hung up without saying anything else and Hailey let silence fill the truck once again. She needed to get out of here, needed to get Jay back to Chicago. When Voight sent them down here, she didn't expect Camila would want to drop that bomb on him. She hoped for one interview and enough information that they could move on.

The other reason she wanted to be done with all this was to calm her own emotions. Her and Jay had been dancing around each other for months now, currently in this stage of they were together without needing labels. They had this unspoken agreement where they weren't dating other people, but they weren't dating each other. Their thing had evolved from drinks after a hard case to that plus falling asleep in the other's bed. It was comfortable, but she was starting to want more.

Shaking her head, she shifted the truck back into drive, knowing it would be over an hour before she saw Jay again. They were going to need something stronger that the beer in the room's mini fridge for the conversation she was already dreading. Normally, she could read him like a book, but she couldn't tell where she stood with him now.

She drove around for close to an hour, losing herself in the scenery of never-ending fields. If Chicago had more landscape like this, she could get lost in this for hours. Her mind wandered, letting it fill with fantasies of a life away from Chicago and the harsh world they saw every day. This was something she thought more and more about, and it was no coincidence that it happened more as her relationship with Jay progressed.

Jay once mentioned the idea of getting a way for the weekend, but considering the status of their relationship, or lack thereof, she was quick to brush him off. Now, that idea was incredibly appealing, and she just may make him take time off after they closed this case. Hailey suspected Voight wouldn't have an issue of it, or would he say anything about two of his detectives taking a weekend together. But for now, she just needed to get his mind on right, no matter what it would take.

* * *

When she pulled back into the hotel parking lot, she realized it had been nearly two hours since she left. She hoped Jay was back but part of her was also dreading the conversation looming ahead. There was no way of knowing if he was in the room, considering she had the truck, their only mode of transportation.

The walk to their room felt like it was both the longest and shortest trip ever. She quickly swiped the keycard while trying to juggle the takeout bags and the bottle of whiskey she picked up at a liquor store.

"Hailey?" she heard before the door shut behind her. She let out a sigh she didn't realize she held in, her chest becoming a little lighter at the relief knowing he was here.

"Hey," she answered, entering the room and setting down the bags on the small desk in the corner. She turned to find Jay sitting on the edge of the bed, still in his running gear. If the redness of his face or the way his hair curled from sweat wasn't a sign, she would have guessed he never went running.

"How long have you been here?" she asked, trying to make small talk.

"I got back about five minutes before you," he answered, finally looking up at her. Hailey nodded at his response before motioning her head to the takeout.

"Got us some dinner. Burgers and fries, and a bottle of whiskey."

"Thanks," Jay replied.

"Do you want to shower first? Or…" Hailey began before getting cut off, his answer not about her innocent question.

"No," Jay said, his voice rising as he stood up. This was what she was dreading, the anger she knew that was bubbling under the surface. The only thing that was helping her was knowing this wasn't aimed at her in any way, this was one of the unhealthy ways Jay dealt with things. Therapy helped, but sometimes anger reared its ugly head.

"You knew," he said, his statement more of a fact that a question. He crossed his arms, and Hailey had to stop the thoughts running through her head. She understood why so many suspects always looked like they wanted to cry when Jay was questioning them. The many looked intimidating this way, despite the fact they were in a hotel room, together, hours from Chicago.

Hailey stepped towards him, needing to show him he wasn't afraid of her. That was the last thing they needed to happen, because then there was no going back. Her hands settled on her hips in an attempt to seem relax when she was the furthest thing from it, before nodding in response.

"Yeah," she replied, her voice calm.

"How long?" he asked.

"I've been keeping tabs on her since her sentencing," she explained, even though he knew that. Honesty was the best way to get this done, despite wanting to go on the defensive. It was best to let him get it out until he was thinking clearly again.

But to her surprise, Jay relaxed a bit. His arms dropped to his sides, his shoulders no longer looking like the weight of the world rested on them. She expected more, but she was secretly proud of him for managing his emotions.

Without speaking, he walked around her, making a beeline for the whiskey on the table. He didn't bother grabbing a glass, just took a decent sized sip from the bottle. If they were in Chicago, she would cut him off any second now, especially knowing that there was nothing in his stomach and he was going to drink himself sick. But here, there was nothing holding her back from letting him react how he wanted.

It was Hailey's turn to sit down on the bed, crossing her legs while waiting for Jay's attention to focus back to her. It didn't take long as he turned towards her, holding the bottle out to share. She declined, knowing one of them needed to be in a sober headspace.

"How long?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"A month after she got placed here," she replied but Jay shook his head.

"No, how long have you known?" Hailey paused, bracing herself for the outburst she felt would come.

"A month after she got placed her," she repeated.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't think it was a good time, considering everything that happened after. And you were finally getting to a good place, and I wouldn't let myself be the reason you backtrack."

Her answer was honest, but all she could hope for was that Jay believed her.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" he asked, his voice suddenly becoming soft, almost like he was a scared little boy. Hailey could see the tears and while she wanted to lie to him, she couldn't. She owed him honesty.

"Probably not."

The look Jay gave her was probably the first time she had ever not been able to read him. Instead, he set the whiskey down and walked to her, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Silence once again fell between them, neither knowing what to say. Hailey just looked down at her hands, realizing then how much they were shaking, but they were nothing compared to Jay's. Without much thought, she reached forward, grasping his upper arm to pull him towards her.

That triggered him, because next thing she knew, he was shaking, sobs wracking his body as it all caught up to him. She didn't say anything, moving back on the bed and pulling him to her. His head fell into her lap as her free hand ran through his hair.

Hailey could feel all the pain and anger escape him. He cried for Camila and his baby, and she felt herself tear up. But she cried for him, and for her, knowing this would impact them in ways she hoped never happened. It was selfish, but she couldn't help it. They were in this together, and this was one of those things that was her burden to carry too.

Eventually, his sobs quieted, and she could tell he fell asleep. He desperately needed it, and Hailey moved down to lay down herself. Jay must have been spent, because he barely moved an inch as she adjusted his body, so he was laying more comfortably.

As her own eyes fluttered shut, her fantasy from earlier entered her mind again. Except this time, it was different, as she pictured Jay walking beside her, holding her hand. And as she fell asleep, she wished like hell that she could take them away from the pain and the demons they saw and felt every day.

* * *

Jay wasn't sure when he woke up, but all he registered was his head was not on a pillow. As he opened his eyes, he didn't register the white pillowcases of the hotel pillows, but instead the dark blue that was similar to the t-shirt Hailey put on today. It was then he realized it wasn't a pillow he was laying on, but Hailey's stomach.

The more he woke up, the more he realized about his surroundings. His head was pounding, but he remembered taking the bottle of whiskey and drinking half of it. He felt Hailey's fingers in his hair, something he rarely admitted she did often. The rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed was soothing, and at some point, as he slept, his left arm had wrapped around her, refusing to let her go.

As he remembered everything that had happened until now, he pulled Hailey closer, which he wasn't sure was possible. His finger dug into her hip, wanting to grasp something so she knew how important she was.

The irony of his current situation was not lost on him. Here he was, laying with his head on his partner's stomach in a way he would expect to if she were pregnant, hours after learning he got Camila pregnant. But it didn't stop him from wishing he could have that, just not with Camila.

Children were always a sore subject in his mind for a lot of reasons even he didn't fully comprehend. With Erin, the topic of kids never seemed to be plausible with her own childhood, and when she left, he resigned to the fact kids wouldn't ever be an option for him. But now, knowing that under different circumstance he could be holding a baby in this moment, he didn't know what to think.

Hailey's voice broke him from his thoughts, once again causing him to pull her tighter to him. If he was hurting her, she made no objection, but he just wanted to feel her close.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft. His mind ran with her tone, the softness he's heard her use with kids before in their cases.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. Her fingers kept running through his hair, brushing back the curls he knew were probably unruly from his run.

"You slept for about three hours. Food is probably cold."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, for more than just the food.

"You needed it. I won't let you apologize for that."

It was moment like this he couldn't believe he had a partner like her, had someone like her, in his life. There were moments she called him out on his bullshit, or talked him down, but at the end of the day, she was there for him with whatever he needed.

"Did you sleep?" he asked. He would feel guilty if she didn't and had laid here for three hours with him on top of her.

"A little bit, didn't realize how exhausted I was."

"Good," he replied before silence took over the room. Neither of them wanted to break the spell, despite the fact they had to talk about the elephant in the room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hailey asked, clearly being able to read his mind. She did that a lot, and Jay always had to laugh at how well she knew him. Another reason why he was grateful for someone like her.

"I don't know how I feel" Jay whispered, keeping his head down.

"And that's okay," Hailey told him. She started to continue, but he cut her off. He knew it was now or never, and he just hoped she wouldn't bolt.

"When I first got home, I told myself kids would never be an option. I didn't want them to go through what I did growing up. Emotionally abusive father, watching them lose their mother, their brother isolating them when the need it most. I didn't want that for them. And then on top of my own issues, I didn't want kids unless I knew I could be there for them."

Hailey sat in silence, letting him get all this out. Getting Jay to open up about anything super personal was like pulling teeth. This somehow roped in everything he didn't like talking about: the military, his parents, the hot and cold relationship he had with his brother. So, this, this was a victory for Hailey, and she's learned that if he wants to, just let him.

"Somewhere along the way, something changed. Maybe it was with Allie, or Erin, maybe Camila or Abby, or you."

His statement cut her open with a knife. She knew enough to know those women shaped Jay in more ways than one. Each had an impact on him and sometimes, she wanted to thank them personally. But this was not one of those times.

"Life is too short, we see that a lot. But now, whenever I think of kids, the picture in my head is always the same. My eyes, their mom's smile, curly hair just running around. And I want that, Hails. I want it so bad that it scares me."

While his description of his future kids was vague, part of Hailey wanted to cry because she felt he was talking about Erin. But part of her hoped he was talking about her, because she would be lying to herself if she didn't admit she thought about children with Jay far too many times.

"So, I'm not sure how I feel, and it has nothing to do with Camila but with you," he paused, not finishing his thought almost like he was scared to admit the rest of it.

"Why?" Hailey asked, suddenly needing him to finish his sentence. She needed to know what caused him to say these things, things that she never thought he would ever admit to anyone, including her. Her words must have done something to him, because he looked up and straight into her eyes.

"Because the only person I want to have kids with is you."

* * *

**Sorry for the delay! I wanted to get this out earlier, but I also wanted it to be perfect, and wanted to see what happens with Jay and Hailey in the premier (which, all I can say is wow). I'm going to try to get the next chapter out within the week, but don't hold me to that. **


	5. Chapter 5

"_Because the only person I want to have kids with is you." _

The words echoed throughout the room, the weight of them hitting both detectives like a freight train. The words Jay had spoken replayed over and over in Hailey's mind while she struggled to find her own. Those words had the power to change their relationship even more, and in that moment, Hailey welcomed the change.

"Hailey?" Jay asked, after she had been quiet for too long. "Babe, please say something."

For the first time, that word her hit more than normal. It was a thing with them when they were alone, together. She remembered the first time he said it, the first time it was ever uttered in meaning of their relationship, partnership thing.

It was a few weeks after he was kidnapped, around the time when she noticed she was spending most of her nights at his place rather than her own, sleeping beside him in his bed. Their new arrangement had developed out of their similar need to not let the other out of their sight. Hailey blamed herself for his kidnapping, Jay blamed himself for not listening to Hailey. She had barely woken up when Jay's phone began ringing and she listened to his morning, sleep-laced voice as he told their boss he would call her and pick her up.

"_Hailey, Hails," he said, his fingers tracing her spine from where his hand slipped under her shirt. "Babe, wake up."  
_

It was a slip up, they both knew it. But it became normal, comforting. She began saying it too and somehow over the past year, it was the label they used to describe what their relationship was like outside of work. It became a code word of sorts, something that let them both know they were leaving work behind and focusing on just them, two people who cared for each other and loved each other.

"Babe?" she heard softly, her mind coming back to the present. As she looked up, she saw Jay staring at her, eyes red and tears threatening to fall. At some point, he had sat up from his spot laying on her stomach. Her mind was so far away that she didn't realize it.

"I'm here," she said out loud, reassuring them both. She held her hand out, letting Jay take it, which he quickly did, holding on for what seemed like dear life. "I'm not leaving you, I promise. It's okay, we're okay."

She could see him relax at her words. After three years working together, countless hours spent together and numerous walls and boundaries broken down, it broke her to see how he still felt like she would one day leave. That was a recurring theme in his life she knew, but she would tell him that every hour of every day until he believed it.

"I know," he whispered. "I was worried I said too much. We've never really talked about it so…"

Jay looked like a scared kid, one who had his heart and trust broken one too many times. Her free hand reached up to cup his face, the stubble there rubbing against her palm as he leaned into her hand.

"You said everything you needed to. Nothing you have to say will ever be too much, not to me."

Her statement loomed over them, neither of them knowing how to address it. It needed to be discussed, but that meant having the relationship talk neither had been prepared for. Hailey knew it would happen one day, and maybe as they sat here in a hotel in the middle of nowhere, it was the right time.

"Do you really think about it?" she asked, her own voice becoming timid. Her eyes dropped her lap, where her hand was still holding Jay's.

"All the time," he answered, his tone matching her own. "Probably more than any man should."

She laughed at his attempt to joke and lighten the somber mood, smiling at him and getting a smile in return. It only made her smile bigger and feel bolder, knowing that he was here with her, he was in this with her.

"So, when you said you picture kids with your eyes and curly hair and their mom's smile?" she asked.

"I'm talking about your smile," he finished, understand the unspoken question.

"How many?" she asked, pulling him back to her. He obliged her request, moving to lay against the pillows on the bed, opening his arms to make room for her to curl up next to him.

"At least two," he said, painting a picture for them both about a future with children. "As much as I give Will shit, I liked growing up with a brother. We were thick as thieves when we were younger, always giving our mom trouble."

"It's going to be like having a second job raising mini Halsteads," Hailey added, earning a laugh from him.

"Don't act like you're innocent," he told her. "You're just as stubborn as me."

"That's true," she said. "When I was younger, before I ever wanted to be a cop, I thought about it, having kids and getting married. Three always seemed like the magic number. Not too many, but just enough."

"I can get behind that," Jay said.

It wasn't weird to talk about kids with Jay, she decided then. It felt natural, like this was another talk a normal couple would have in their relationship. This was just the direction theirs took, and Hailey was happy to see Jay welcome it so easily.

"Boys or girls?" she asked, wanting to continue this conversation and the bubble they were in. She had her own preference, but she was anxious to see how Jay felt.

"That's where I used to stop letting myself get carried away," he said honestly. "My own experience was bad, and I know my grandfather treated my dad the same. Old Canaryville, Irish Catholic upbringing, I guess."

"I want one of each," Hailey said, trying to keep Jay from thinking of his own childhood. "A little boy that looks just like you, curly brown hair, freckles and all. A little girl that, and I'm not joking, will probably look just like me. Until I turned 14, I looked exactly like my mom and her sister at every age."

"I wouldn't mind that," Jay said softly. His fingers began playing with her hair, twisting the blonde strands around. "She'll probably be as stubborn and bossy as you."

"You're one to talk, mister," she reminded him. "The third one can be up in the air. I think it's fair to say we would have our hands full regardless."

"Definitely," he told her. "And I should warn you about what you're in for."

Hailey looked up at him, wondering what he wasn't telling her. The mischief in his eyes told her it wasn't bad, but he was clearly messing with her a bit.

"Irish twins run in the Halstead family."

"Oh, I'm not pushing two kids out in a year," she said, mostly joking but he didn't need to know that.

Jay laughed at her comment, pulling her closer to kiss her forehead. "Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome," she responded, not needing to ask what for. This was the push they needed, the break they needed from the heavy things looming over them. It was a break from reality that they didn't expect, but they welcomed anyways.

The silence in the room returned, but it was comfortable. This room had become such a bubble for them that it didn't seem like the outside world existed. Here, they were just Hailey and Jay, two people that loved each other, and cared for each other. It was a place where the pressures of their jobs, their lives and Chicago itself couldn't touch them, couldn't reach them. It was a place where they could be themselves, to dream and wonder about what the future held, even while they weren't totally ready to dive into that area. But they knew they were it for each other, they just had to wait this out.

"Can I ask you something?" Jay asked, breaking the silence once more.

"Anything," Hailey answered. "You never have to ask."

"I want to stop and see Camila one more time," he said. "I think we both need that closure, now that I've processed it."

"I think that's good," she told him honestly. "She told me that she was glad I knew, because to her, it seemed like you did too. But I need you to know I made the call not to tell you, not her. She went through enough with losing the baby, she didn't need the added stress of whatever your reaction would be, leaving me to pick up the pieces. It may have been selfish, but…"

"No, it is not selfish," Jay interrupted her. "You've told me before that you've trusted me since the day we met. And I can tell you the same thing. You put my wellbeing above your own, something no other partner of mine ever has. But I need you to know that I don't blame you, or hate you nor am I mad at you for not telling me."

Tears formed in Hailey's eyes, and she didn't try to hold them back, letting them fall while Jay held her tight. Those were the words she needed to hear more than anything from him, and now that she had, it felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. And as they lay there, having said all they needed to and left their souls bare, everything clicked into place, the feeling like this was where they were supposed to be and how it was supposed to be settling in. And neither would fight this anymore, they would let themselves be free.

* * *

As they woke up, he felt different. It was a good feeling, like he was prepared to take on whatever was about to happen. There was a lot that lied ahead, but as he looked down at the blonde lying beside him, he knew he would come out okay if she was by his side.

So much had happened during the past few hours. Finding out he was a father, even for however briefly of a time, and learning all that was done to protect him. The latter, that was on Hailey, and he couldn't be mad at her, he never would be. He put her through so much that he didn't deserve her or anything she does for him. But here she was, lying beside him in a little nowhere town and he finally felt a weight lift off his chest.

The old Jay would have been dreading what was about to happen, but this Jay, he wasn't. He knew that going to see Camila and talking about everything that had happened was what he needed, what they all needed, Hailey included. As far as he was concerned, she was in this too. This situation, whatever they wanted to call it, it affected her as much as it did for him and Camila.

He looked down at his partner, a smile spreading across his face as he watched her sleep. She would probably give him a snarky comment if she could see him, but that was okay. He would gladly accept whatever came his way.

As if on cue, he felt her stir, stretching her body out, causing her to press against his side more. He continued tracing patterns on her back where his hand slipped under the t-shirt of his she wore. A few second later, she looked up at him, giving him a sleepy smile that made her look as gorgeous as she always did.

"Morning sunshine," he said, kissing her on her forehead. She left out a yawn, wrapping her arms around his bare torso.

"Mmm, you're warm," she said, her lips pressing lightly to his side, sending chills through his body. To anyone else, it wouldn't seem like much, but it meant a lot to them. Back when he was shot, one of the bullets left a nasty bruise on his left ribs. Had he not been wearing a vest, that bullet would have taken him from her, and he would forever be sorry to hurt her like that.

"I have more clothes on than you," he shot back, wanting to erase the memory from his mind. She looked up at him, giving him a look that told him she wasn't in the mood for his jokes.

"We're wearing the same amount of clothing, mister," she told him.

"You sure about that?" he asked, daring her to try him. She was technically right, him having fallen asleep in his boxers with sweatpants, her in only a pair of underwear and his shirt. He figured she wouldn't bite, and he was right when she sat up on the bed, making a scene of crawling over him to get up.

As her feet touched the ground, she paused, her arms staying where they were, bracing herself on his chest. Her expression softened, like it always did when she was checking to make sure he was okay.

"You sure you want to do this?" she asked. He nodded immediately.

"I need to do this," he told her, his eyes telling her more than his words. He really did need this, in order for him to finally put this all to rest.

"Whatever you say," Hailey told him. "I'm here for you."

"I know" Jay said, pulling her down to kiss her softly.

She melted into him, letting her body drop on top of his. It was different than the few other they had shared, but a good different, she had decided. Something told her this would be the rest of her life, this was what she had to look forward to. Mornings like this would be normal, a moment of light innocence before they faced the horrors associated with this job.

"We gotta get ready," she told him, reluctantly pulling away. He groaned, causing her to laugh and quickly kiss him once more.

"If you want to be back before dark, they we've got to go," she said, finally getting off of him and the bed. He stopped her before she could get too far, but instead of him pulling her back, he got up too.

"Join me?" he asked sweetly. She found nothing but love in his eyes, knowing this wouldn't be a scandalous question. Hailey sensed he needed her close still, and she found herself nodding her head, letting him pull her into the bathroom.

Nothing about this seemed weird or forced. Despite the unknowns of this undefined relationship, this just felt like the next progression for them. It had been a year since this all began, where they had existed in a space where they had done everything but label themselves as dating. They've done everything a normal couple would, but they had done so much backwards, so much out of order. And even then, she couldn't help but smile as he pulled their clothes off, grasping her hand to pull her into the tiny shower in the hotel bathroom.

"Sometimes I feel like we've skipped some steps," Jay said, causing her to turn towards him. "But then I don't because everything feels right."

"We don't exactly have the most normal of relationships, Jay," she said, stepping around him so he could be under the showerhead.

As his back turned to her, she couldn't help but step forward, wrapping her arms around his bare and wet torso. Her chest pressed against his back, and she felt his own hands reach down to hold onto hers. She turned her head, kissing a spot between his shoulder blades where she could reach.

"I love you," he told her, his words barely a whisper. His hands squeezed hers as she kissed the same spot again.

"I love you too," she told him. "You're it for me."

* * *

The rest of the morning went by in a blur as they packed their bags and loaded the truck, planning to head straight from the prison back to Chicago. As they got closer to the prison, Hailey could feel Jay's anxiety ramp up and she hoped he wouldn't back out of all this.

"You okay?" she asked him. He just nodded while concentrating on the opening prison gates, his cop brain kicking in like she hoped it would.

They were silent walking in, stopping to sign in and check the phones and guns with the officers up front. One who they have seen every day they've been here tried to crack joke with them. Hailey laughed while Jay just smirked, his way of avoiding conversation and keeping his mind straight.

They were led to the same interrogation room they've been in every single day. But Jay stopped her before they could go in.

"Do you mind if it is just me?" he asked, his nerves causing his voice to shake a little. Hailey just nodded, her hand resting on his arm and squeezing lightly, letting him know she was here before she headed to the observation room. She wasn't going to give him a chance to be completely alone and she wasn't surprised to see him not try and fight her. The resignation he had for this whole situation didn't worry her though, it just made her even more proud of him than she already was, than she always was.

She watched as Jay paced around a little, knowing it would be about five minutes before they brought Camila in. At one point he turned, looking into the one-way mirror, and even while he couldn't see her, he still managed to look straight towards her.

That's how Camila found him when she was brought inside. Jay turned around, motioning for her to take a seat.

"Hey," he asked the guard. "Do you mind taking her cuffs off?"

"You sure?" the guard said. Jay just nodded while the other man shrugged, taking the keys out to let Camila out of the handcuffs before leaving the two alone.

"Thanks," Camila said. "You never get used to them."

"I'm sorry," Jay said, both for her comment and the whole predicament they found themselves in.

"Thanks," she replied, her own voice trembling. "So, do you need my help again?"

"No, this isn't like that," he explained. "We solved the case, and I'm about to head back to Chicago. I just wanted to stop and talk to you about, everything."

Camila nodded, understanding what he was referencing to.

"I didn't know until I got here," she began. "Routine drug test is how I found out. The first ultrasound is when I found out there was no baby, that I miscarried."

Hailey could hear her heart breaking. She didn't know any of this, only what the prison warden could tell her. No one deserved to go through that, not even Camila.

"I was about 10 weeks," she continued. "But they told me the drug use, and the drinking, was what caused…it to happen."

Jay just nodded his head, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry," he whispered, before looking back at her. He wasn't prepared for the tears in her eyes, but he could see that she herself was finally coming to terms with it all.

"But I do want you to know, that had I known, I would have been more careful."

"I appreciate that," he said. "And I know you would have Camila. You're not a bad person."

Hailey watched as Camila nodded, trying to discretely wipe the tear away that fell. It didn't work, because next thing she knew, Jay was moving around to her side of the table, wrapping his arms around the woman who was now sobbing in his arms. She tried to look anywhere but at the scene playing in front of her, not because she was uncomfortable, but because she felt like she was intruding on a private moment.

"Hey," Jay said, causing Hailey to look back at them. "I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame you for anything, okay?"

Camila nodded, still trying to stop the tears from falling. Jay kept a hand on her shoulder, trying to bring her back to reality.

"I never dealt with it all, you know?" she said, looking back at him. "I felt like I deserved it."

"You absolutely did not," he told her with such conviction, Hailey could see the weight lift from Camila's shoulders. "And it's no longer on you to carry. I'm here for you, you know that right?"

Camila nodded again, wiping away the last of her tears before trying to smile.

"Thanks, Jay," she said, stumbling over the use of his real name. "And, can you tell Hailey thank you, too?"

"I will," he told her. "And I talked to my boss again, and you will be out of here in a month. We caught the guy that killed Evan, thanks to you."

As Jay spoke, Camila began crying again, but everyone knew this time they were tears of relief, and joy. Instead of saying anything, she hugged him again, a small smile crossing her faced at the idea of only being in this hell hole for one more month.

"We'll try and help, any way we can to get you back on your feet," he told her.

Camila nodded, the silence between the two exes becoming longer as every second passed. Hailey could see what she was doing, as she wasn't sure Camila was going to take whatever help Jay gave her. But Hailey couldn't fault her, as the whole situation was too complicated and too much for anyone to handle.

"Can I think about it?" Camila asked softly. "It's nothing against you, or Hailey. It's just…"

"I get it," Jay interrupted.

"But," she stopped him, jumping back into her point. "I don't have any family left and I don't want to go back to my life before. But I want a clean break from it all."

Even while she knew Jay wanted the privacy, she couldn't sit by anymore. Maybe if Camila heard all of this from her, she could let them help in some way.

"Hey," she said as she opened the door, causing both Camila and Jay to turn their heads towards her. Jay stood up, turning his body to see whatever Hailey was about to do. She simply walked towards him, gently shoving him out of the way so she could sit on the table by Camila.

"Jay's right," she told the brunette. "We're going to help you, however we can. But we can do this on your terms, okay? However, you want and however will help you move on."

"I just don't want to burden you. You owe me nothing."

"You aren't a burden, Cam," Jay told her softly. "And this isn't because you were pregnant with my baby. You're a human being that did what she needed to survive, and no one can blame you for that."

"It's gonna be okay," Hailey said, nodding to emphasize her point. She could tell she got through the woman when she nodded back, tears filling her eyes one again.

"I don't know what to say to this," she mumbled, laughing lightly. It brought a smile to all of their faces, something that was needed in the moment.

"Just keep your head on straight and start thinking about what you want to do with your life," Jay told her.

"I will," she said, her voice stronger now. She looked back at Hailey for a moment, and Hailey got what she wanted.

"I'll give you two a moment," she said, smiling at them both before leaving the room.

As the door shut, Camila turned back to Jay, standing up for the first time since she got here.

"I really did love you," she began, causing Jay to stand still. This wasn't where he expected this to go, but he still trusted her for some reason, and he owed it to her to hear her out.

"And a part of me still does, but not in the way that you love Hailey. I don't think I would have coped with my brother's death without you, and because of that, I'll forever be grateful for you."

Jay nodded, taking in her words. She was right, he does love Hailey, and he did love Camila, but he can see now it was a different kind of love.

"I do love her," he said finally. "And I did love you too. I never lied about that. If we're being honest now, I should probably tell you that I was going through a lot back then."

"I volunteered to go undercover to get to Luis," he continued. "But you, you were just a curveball, one I welcomed. I needed a distraction from life, I wanted to escape my job and my life as Jay. But you gave me something bigger. I finally got back on track and talked to someone about my PTSD."

He watched Camila smile, seemingly proud of what she did for him. Her expression then changed as Jay's words settled in.

"I tried to get Luis help," she explained, her gaze fixated on the ground. "But I know that some people don't want the help, and there is nothing you can do to fix it. You can try and be there for him, but at the end of the day, it doesn't always work."

"You did your best, okay? That's all you need to remember. I tried to help a lot of guys I served with that came home, but it doesn't always work."

"You didn't lie about that?" she asked. "You really did serve?"

"Yeah," he told her. "And I beat myself up about it. I was a Ranger and I was at Benning the same time as Luis. Made me wonder if I ever sat next to him or passed by. Wondered how things could have turned out differently."

Camila nodded, taking in everything he was telling her.

"Can I ask you something?" she said. Jay just nodded, telling himself to answer her honestly.

"Can you send Hailey in?" she told him. "I owe her an apology."

"Yeah," he told her. As silence fell over them once again, he moved closer, wrapping her in a hug once more. His mind went back and forth over what to do next, before just going with his instincts. He softly kissed her forehead, allowing them both the closure they needed for the case, Luis, Camila's time here and the baby they shared. Even while neither of them said anything, both knew they would forever be connected because of this, but this was the beginning of a new chapter.

"Take care of yourself," he told her as he pulled away. She smiled at him, sitting back down as he walked out the door.

Jay found Hailey leaning on the wall across from the interrogation room, arms crossed as she looked up at him. He didn't say anything as he walked towards her, pulling him to her, his lips finding hers. It was quick but full of love, Jay telling her everything she needed to hear.

"She wants to talk to you before we go," he told her, pulling away to look her in the eyes.

"Okay," Hailey answered him, kissing him once more before pulling away from him, walking back towards the interrogation room.

Camila was seated again, giving Hailey a smile as she entered.

"I wanted to apologize to you," she began. Hailey sat across from her, trying to keep her nerves hidden. She didn't want to admit that, she was nervous for whatever was about to happen, but she was, not knowing where this was all going to go.

"Back then, that night you visited me, I told you the person you knew was a lie," Camila told her. Hailey nodded, both in understanding and for her to continue.

"I was wrong. I was just so hurt over everything that I refused to think that the person I knew as Ryan wasn't real. But I know now that's not the case."

Hailey just sat there, silent, sensing that Camila needed to get this all out and she didn't want to jeopardize that.

"He's a great guy, and you're lucky to have him in your life," Camila finished with a hint of something different in her voice. It wasn't jealousy, Hailey decided, but wistfulness. A type of longing for whatever Hailey had with Jay.

"He is a great guy, the best I've ever known," Hailey began, not knowing how to say this. "Which is why I know that when he says he wants to help, he means it. And because he's my partner, and I trust him implicitly, I have your back too. You have people in your corner, Camila. I promise you that."

Camila nodded as Hailey's words settled in. "Will you guys be there, for my parole hearing?"

"More than likely, we will be called in, because we handled the case," Hailey told her honestly. "But we're going to be advocating for your release, because you deserve it."

"Thank you," Camila said. "For everything."

"You're welcome," she told her. "And if you need anything, don't be afraid to call either of us."

The two smiled at each other, the strange bond between the three of them settling into their minds. No other words were spoken as Hailey left the room, opening the door to find Jay in the same position he found her in. She walked over, taking his hand in hers and pulling him towards the exit.

"You ready to go home?" she asked.

"Yeah, and I want to sleep for the next two days," he said, causing her to laugh.

"Looks like we're having a mini vacation at your place," she told him. "I was also thinking that the next time we have furlough, we should get out of town, go on a real vacation."

Jay pulled her closer, turning to place a kiss on her temple. "I'd like that."

* * *

"There's something I wanted to tell you," Jay said as they got into his truck.

"What's that?" she asked. They had the drive back to Chicago ahead of them, but there was something about having that free time to talk and be themselves that was precious.

"I told Camila that she, and the whole case, was the reason I got help for my PTSD," he admitted, not worried at how easy it was for him to tell her that. "But you were also a huge reason why. I just needed the kick in the ass."

She laughed a little, knowing that was very true before. Silence fell over them before she spoke again.

"I'm proud of you," Hailey said.

"Yeah?" Jay asked, turning his head slightly to look at her. Leave it to him to doubt her, Hailey thought.

"Of course," she told him. "I'm always proud of you. Don't ever forget that."

She held back from adding a sarcastic comment, knowing that he needed to hear it. So much had happened in the past 24 hours and as they drove back, Hailey felt Jay truly relax.

"You know you're only the second person to tell me that?" he told her, his voice soft like he didn't want to admit it.

"What?" she asked, shifting in the passenger seat to look at him. His focus was on the road ahead, but his mind was miles from where they were.

"You and my mom," he said. "You're the only two people to tell me you're proud of me. I used to think I would never hear someone say that again, but it was okay cause my mom always told me. But hearing It from you? It's kinda fitting that the only people that have told me are the most important women in my life."

"Would you want to name your daughter after your mom?" Hailey asked suddenly. She thought she knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"I thought about it once, after she died," he told her, his voice trembling slightly in a way only Hailey would know. "I told her before she passed away that I would do my best to remember her, to make sure my children knew the kind of woman she was. Strong, independent, beautiful, much like someone else I know. But I also knew it would take a certain kind of woman to help me do that. Someone who reminds me of my mother but is just as amazing on her own."

Hailey didn't try to hide her tears, she just let them fall. That had to have been one of the most personal and deepest things he has ever told her, more so than everything they admitted the day before.

Instead of using her words, she reached over to him, her hand wrapping around his bicep, tugging lightly. Jay just laughed, understanding what she wanted and giving in. Moving his left hand to the steering wheel, he let go with his right, moving to link his fingers with Hailey's as she pulled their joined hands into her lap.

As she made herself comfortable, snuggling deeper into the seat as her right hand fell on top of their linked ones. She took the moment to marvel at the size difference, the contrasts between them both. They did the same things, day in and day out. Fired weapons, cuffed suspects and comforted victims. But there were also so many differences, besides the obvious ones. His were large and calloused, freckles dotting the back while hers were smaller and not as tanned, softer even. One saw war and the pain it brought, the other, only having seen the injustices their city had.

But as she stared down at them, she felt his fingers move, tracing patterns the skin there. It took Hailey a while to realize the patterns he was making were on only focused on one area, one specific finger of hers.

"Jay?" she asked, suddenly feeling bold enough to ask.

"Yeah?" he replied, his focus on her despite his eyes being on the road ahead.

"Do you ever think about it?" she asked for the second time, hoping he would pick up on the unasked part of her question. Hailey watched the realization dawn on him, his hand squeezing hers to let her know he got it, he did. He always got her, understood her perhaps even better than she knew herself. It was why they worked so well, why they could always feel at ease around each other and why she knew this thing, it was going to work for them.

"Every day," he told her honestly. He snuck a glance over at her, shooting her a smile she knew he only gave her.

"What's stopping us?" Hailey whispered.

"Nothing, I guess," Jay replied immediately. "As far as I'm concerned, we have all the time in the world."

"So?"

He looked at her, holding her gaze for longer than he should have, given that he was driving. But it told her everything she needed to know. He was in this, he trusted her, and she trusted him. She couldn't think of someone better to do life with, especially given their jobs. But as he looked at her, she wasn't scared, or worried, or nervous.

She was ready.

"Let's do this," he said, understanding her like always.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed! This was the longest chapter in this series so far, and I hope it was worth the wait!**

** With the holidays coming up, I will hopefully be having more time to update and write, including covering the fall finale (which omg) and some other ideas to hold us all over until January! This one is coming to an end, but I have others that will hopefully be in the works!**

**Happy Holidays!**


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